ClosingBracket

I thought you would be interested to hear that I have declared war on my fatitude. For too long I have looked in the mirror thinking of years gone past when I was in relative shape. Back in the day when I could climb a staircase without keeling over.

I declared war on Monday. That is when I started HIIT running. HITT is high intensity interval training. I put on my shoes, walk over to the park, jog for 30 seconds, spring for 30 seconds, rinse and repeat.

Sounds good eh? Though so…unfortunately, my first two days (Monday and Wednesday) consisted of 3 minutes of HIIT.

The war is not going well…

I just have to blog. I am sitting on my back porch, it’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, my wife is sitting here configuring her Rockr and I am surfing the web.

Oh, did I mention we just put down a couple of Tilts? Life feels pretty good.

I was on my way to one place or another driving the surface streets of the suburbs. Traffic wasn’t too bad. Or so I thought.

I pulled up to a stop sign. I was in the right lane with a line of cars in the left lane. Directly across the intersection you could see the the right lane merging into the left. At the same time, a train was coming so traffic was backed up through the merge.

I pull up to the merge point and the dude next to me is tailgating the car in front giving the “FU your not merging!”. I usually just slip in behind him but was starting to get angry. I road that a$$ all the way making him really tailgate until he was uncomfortable. Then I slid behind him. The guy behind gave plenty of room for a merge.

Where do people get off getting all offended that I am merging? It’s not the highway where some one is trying to bi@#@#ch in front of a bunch of people.

I forgot, when I looked over for the stare down, he didn’t even look back. He was 10 and 2 white knuckled. I giggled a little then let him win his battle.

I have a thought for the internet ether.

Why when 2 people are less than 50′ apart they feel the need to communicate via internet?

There should be a limit to e-mail. If you are less then 50′ feet in proximity, you can’t send an e-mail, text, phone, or other message. Wait…I just thought of an amendment. If you could talk loudly and the other person would hear you then please…no e-mails.

But wait Mike! What if i don’t want to disturb the person? I then suggest a balled up note thrown in the persons general direction or the in audible mouthed “…When you have a minute can we talk?..” while raising your index finger. Get crazy, use your imagination.

That is all. If you are within 50′ feet of me while reading this, my apologies.

Ever wonder how to read your significant other? I have tried to analyze my wife for years with no success. As soon as I think I have it, I am surprised.

Here are some standard responses everyone know…

Do I look fat?
NO!

Don’t worry I will take out the trash.
(I better get my a$$ outside and take out the trash.)

I’m gonna pick something up at the store.
(I better get ready to carry in the bags.)

I heard a couple new ones today that I am still translating.

While you are out at Best Buy why not get a Nintendo WII?
(What is she up to?)

Why not get that 46 inch flat screen today?
(I’m scared.)

We have business.

We have casual.
We have business casual.

Business is “suits”
Casual is “jeans and a t-shirt”
Business Casual is “slacks and a polo”.

I discovered a new category today at work. The person was wearing jeans and a polo. Nothing special right? The strange part that through me? Jeans, a polo and a long sleeve shirt under the polo. This reminded me of the early 90s high schoolers with their mud flap of a hair dew riding their skate boards through the mall parking lot wearing baggy jeans with their long sleeve t-shirt under their Nirvana/Pearl Jam/Soundgarden/Nine Inch Nails t-shirt.

Huh? A NEW category is born!

business grunge

I just realized how long it’s been since I last posted something to my blog. I guess nothing has inspired me to share anything with the world wide web.

The latest news is the presidential primaries and how bad the economy is. It’s no big deal that Columbia and Venezuela are massing troops on their borders. I haven’t seen any live reports from those jungles.

I miss the old guy who used to “make the donuts” in the morning.

Is it wrong that my favorite song for the day is She Bop?

So I decided to call my mortgage guy. I wanted to get the best deal on a mortage for my new house purchase. So I said to him “What can you get me?”. He says to me “We have an interest only mortgage.” I think to my self…hmmm sounds exclusive. “Interest only mortgage” I say. “I’m interested in a mortgage, I’ll take that!” He then says, “It’s an adjustable rate mortgage.” I think to myself “perfect…if I ever get in trouble paying this mortgage, I can always adjust the rate to something I can afford. I say “I’ll take it!” before he can change his mind. Who would want a mortgage that your not interested in or can’t adjust?

I sign the paper’s without taking time to read them because I don’t want him changing his mind. What a chump!

My Tivo remote stopped working this weekend. Only one button worked.

I’m scared. No TV has forced me to….gasp…listen to the radio while not in the car, rent movies that are so-so, pay attention when others (wife) are speaking, etc. etc.

When will the agony stop!

UPDATE: I ordered a new TIVO remote from www.weaknees.com and it worked! I’m back baby!